Im getting a bit frustrated with "the guy " now...
here's the story why, so, you decide if I'm being a psycho bitch and over-reacting... Or maybe he is just having a really bad case of PMS.. but, the thing is, i am a LEO, and because i am a Leo, i constantly need attention, okay, so i may be just using my star-sign a san excuse, but, i hate being ignored.. even if it was my fault that he is now ignoring me!
We were having a chat on Friday evening while he was waiting for his friend to go out for supper, and he mentioned something that is a constant bother to my sanity, so, i acted as though i was upset, and said "okay then, Bye'.. and ended the call, thinking that he would be sweet and call me back... but, the jerk didn't.. so i sent an sms and said "i was joking, you're supposed to call back.." NO REPLY... Come Saturday, and still no message or call so i smsed and he replied immediately, so i thought he wasn't upset anymore, but me being a complete stress-aholic, i told him to that i needed to tell him something so will he please call me when he has a few minutes to spare (I'm not being a cheap-skate) and i was planning on apologising to him when he did call.. but once again he didn't.. the whole evening! On Sunday, my family and I had to go to a small farm-town where my mum's side of the family live (the north-west region), so, was sitting and chatting with all my family, and when i checked my phone, lo-and-behold, an sms from HIM... completely normal, but, i was busy so didn't get a chance to reply (i know, sad excuse but you know how it is when you with family) and we got home really late, had two reports to finish for Monday morning for meetings with my supervisor so finally got down to replying his message late morning... which he didn't reply.. then, Found out that I'm getting my car back form the panel-beaters this week, so, in my excitement, I sent him an sms to tell him the good news.. No REPLY ! Later yesterday evening, I went to best Friend (shakeera's) house for supper since she left for Cape Town today. She saw how upset i was, so she suggested i call him (this was about 6 pm) but .. you guessed it NO REPLY ... (by now, i was fuming i tell you...so, got home at about half nine, and sent and sent another message... which he replied .. this is how the message conversation went:
Me: Hi are u okay or is something wrong? haven't spoken to you in a while
him: I'm OK.. U OK? ( Ruby thinks :WTF? )
Me: I'm OK,tried calling you earlier
Him: oh ( waste of an sms i tell you !)
Him: just a bit busy dealing with some urgent work issues
Me: okay, didn't you get my missed calls?
him: I was swapping between phones... (never stopped you from calling before did it?)
and that was the end of our conversation... and it is now 4pm the next day, and i ha vent heard a word from him... so, i think i should be concerned right? i mean, you can be busy, but can you have such urgent work, that you don't even sms or call your girlfriend to find out if she is alive? or if the aliens didn't abduct her in the middle of the night?? or am I being the nagging girlfriend? It's not like i call him the entire day or anything....
Anywayz, onto worst things that have happened to me today: My experiment did not work.. I am so freaking fed up with the bloody dumb-ass plants, its as if they have a vendetta against me.. first they don't grow, when they eventually grow, they don't have any RNA (protein-making genes) , when they have RNA, there isn't enough to produce mRNA ... *** almost pulling my hair out*** I'm so so so sick and tired of all this Shite!!!!
As for Blogger Beta- I was forced into changing over.. yep, i was one of the unlucky ones that had the automatic transfer done to my blog over the holidays, so, since seeing that i got the new version, i decided to accept the new template... and what do you know.. everything disappeared.. My stat counter, My technorati button, My Quote of the day, everything.. but the crappiest part is that my links are no longer working, and try as I may, I can't seem to get it right, so, Please, I appeal to anyone who may have an idea how to sort this mess out to please, please help me!!!
Tuesday, January 23, 2007
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13 comments:
dont worry ruby... he prob just as confused as you...
but u know what... whenever the guys we want, they take so damn long to cal or sms and you think you did something wrong! its frustrating i tell you.. wheres the love concern these days...
Do u have any idea how it got to this situation? cause in your previous post u did mention about "where the relationship should lead/end too" and i thought everyhting was fine... bu now this, something must be wrong-from his part...
but anyways good luck..
Hi Ruby ...
I started reading your blog a while back, and its really brilliant, humorous and so true-to-life!!
Anyway, your guy sounds exactly like my ex ... wonder if tis the same person? Is he from a small town in the North? Anyway ... best way to deal with him is give him a taste of his own medicine, and dont call or sms him too much ... if you sms and he doesnt reply, fight with all your strength and DO NOT sms again (even if its 2 weeks)... He WILL make a come-back, then you have the choice to be nice or funny with him! A warning tho, if he does this ignoring thing once, he's gonna keep doing it for stupid reasons so save yourself from the stress and heartache before its too late ... Hope this is the first and last "ignoring phase" in your relationship ... Good Luck to you ... from another girl who "constantly needs attention" :)
i dont understand why girls cling onto idiotic guys........and runnnnnnnnnnn after them..........if he is not interested......he's not interested............the end........move on!!.......
he's practically telling you to buzz off! and you keep going back for more medicine...............
cmon rubyyyyyyy........it might sound harsh........but its the truth.............well i for one realised too late........that the man needs to want you first.........and even if u walk naked in front of him....if he is not interested......he wont take a second look!!!!!!!!
LEAVE THE IDIOT! HES MESSING AROUND........
AS I ALWAYS SAY ::::::: MARRY SOMEONE THAT RESPECTS YOU FIRST!!!!!!!!!!! THEN LOVES YOU!! cos love without respect......is not love!
maybe....if u stop concentrating so much on him........your experiments might work!!!!
fida
puresoul786@yahoo.com
ps: yes...i was harsh.......but u need a wake up call!......only becos i care:)))
Hello there :)
I feel compelled in some mystical potato cosmic way to spare my 2 cents worth...
Ughm ughm... without adding to the harshness, I am resonating with fida’s comment.
Its clear you like the fella and you seem like a good hearted person that’s worth better treatment. I’l be honest with you: you may come across as over stressed with issues that will do better with a more laid back approach and less intense thought process. I do however feel that you are at a critical point where you need to pause, step back and observe the happenings of your life, make decisions that contribute positively to where you would like to be and try your best to overcome the choices that do not. A very important point about relationships which we easily overlook due to our hearts vulnerability … is that in any relationship it is utmost important to be able to express the way you feel about the relationship without having to ‘feel guilty for it’, ‘you would be judged for it’ or ‘being afraid of what the other half may think’... especially when it’s directly involving the person whom you potentially plan to spend the rest of your life with. Anything contrary to it is fairly considered emotional abuse.
Think carefully about this and decide wisely.
All the best to you :)
i, who knows nothing about anything to do with normal staid relationships, feel a bit inadequate to contribute.
Our alien friend seems to be making sense however.
your links are working fine now, i see that you've deleted the extra / at the end of the urls.
firstly, an update on the situation: he says he is not avoiding me , but very busy at work... (don't know if i believe the excuse or not)
Saf: do guys really get as confused as us? i dont think so..
nla: we such girls, constantly wanting to be the most important person in everyone's lives... as for your ex, sounds like an ex of mine as well, like i've said before, i think that guys go to a school "the art of being a guy" , and at this school, they get thought how to act, what lines to say etc. becuase none of them are original enough to think for themselves (sorry, the males that read this blog are not included in this generalization) .. My guy is not from the north, so see, they prob. just carbon-copies of each other.. and i agree, i will not call/sms/email him till he makes contact..(sounds like amn alien hey?)
Fida: that was a bit harsh :( , but i take heed to what you are saying... And im not really running after him, just wanted to clarify that i didnt do anything wrong, since i had major PMS last week, and was a bit crappy towards him so i felt that i needed to apologise.. as for the love/respect bit, i agree.. and my experiments don't work no matter what.. they just DONT.. and i am gonna kill the plants or myself very soon (just kidding, will not kill myself!)
Alienlovesecret: thanks for the advice, I do tend to become a bit too paranoid, and I overthink every-single-situation to hell and back ! (my weakness..)
Saaleha: Thats why im having such a huge problem with, cos im not used to a normal staid relationship either, but mow I have my blog-buddies to help me make sense of the lives we are living! As for my links, i deleted the last "/" wonder if thats what got them working.. hmmm, b-beta still sucks, still dont have a stat counter etc. hopefully with deal with it soon.
Hi Ruby,
nice blog you have here! :)
About your problem..
Look, I think in a real relationship one should have more understanding and trust.. For example, if he didn't call there's definitely an excuse.
And if you were the one who made a mistake just make the first step and apologize and then let him take the second one.
I'm going through a similiar thing and I always wonder if he's thinking about the whole thing as much as I do.
But in the end you just have to face the fact that it's about accepting him the way it is. If he's not the kind of a guy who gives much attention to his beloved one although he's deeply in love with her and you can't live without getting attention from you beloved one then there are only three options:
1) One of you two changes
2) Both of you change a bit and try to find a compromise
3) You are not made for each other (I know it's harsh to say something like that but breaking up is sometimes better than spending/wasting so much time suffering and having a troubled mind)
Anyway, I don't know how things are going between you two but I wish you best of luck and hope that everything will be clarified soon inshaa2 Allah! :)
2)
Men.
Why do they bother us so much?
Well, I don't know what to tell you because I'm never in normal relationships either.
So I suck at relationship advice.
But I just hope it works out for you :)
Iv neva been in a relatnshp,which makes me the perfect person to giv advice:-p it was wrong to act upset,then xpect him to call u back.if things only went wrong frm then, then just ask him. Trust that he's busy,but if he continues the sporadic contact 4 anothr week,then confront the issue.instead of waitin,wonderin, u hav2 kno wher u stand. G'luck
Ruby
first off- dont ignore him. dont let there be a drought in communication either. ideally you should wait for him to come up and iron out these issues, because you seem to really like this guy, and you know what - he prob likes you back, in his own way, so dont cut out communication or send horrible sms's and whatnot- trust me - i know from experience- e-mails, sms's and especially mxit are huge factors in MISScommunication.
the next thing is - dont read into things so much - a certain someone i know is pobably gonna read this and laugh (like the alcoholic telling his friend not to sip wine at communion)
it jus feels that there is a lot of confusion on bothsides- dont do anything rash (swearing his mum or not putting out or sending him insecure sms's) because you and i both know that when you two are together, its perfect. there's this song i like by staind - and one of the lyrics is - 'all that shit disappears when i'm with you'
so my advice - just weather the storm.. and oh yeah - don't cut the call just because you want him to think you'r upset even when your not really upset) rather stay on the line and discuss it till you come to a sort of compromise. sometimes we as guys dont know whether to call back or not. many times i've just said 'fuck it' and went on with whatever else i was doing- it didnt once mean that i thought any less off my girl..
well - hope that helps
Nadia, fatima and BIbi Ayesha: thanks for the advice.
Mjad: I didnt give him the silent treatment exactly, i smsed him that evening AND the next day, he just didnt call and avoided me citing busy at work as his excuse... as for doing anything rash, im not like that, so i wont swear him, or his mother etc. the worst i would do is vent all my frustration on my blog... (hopefully he hasnt found my blog yet)
OH well...
Leo women need Alot... i do mean ALOT of attention. We thrive on it, the min its less, we react outwardly. Girlish tantrums, bouts of tryin to test if he's gonna be all nice and lovey when u be mean... men don't operate like that. Contrary to what women think, beyond the macho stereotypes, men DO have FEELINGS too.
Rem... especially in distance rel... he has a life of his own that doesn't include u... i.e. work, friends, studies, family. These things may seem less of importance to you, but they do impact on his life in some way. Give the bloke a break. Sometimes we all need a time out. Maybe he felt hurt that you just abruptly ended the call? maybe he feels that he's putting in effort and you're being mean? the possibilities are endless.
If nothing else, Think about this... This guy has chosen YOU... NO one else... YOU!!
He's chosen YOU over a billion girls he could be with, more he's chosen to be in a long distance rel... wen his buddies are out with their loves, he's pining for who... YOU! yes, YOU! cut the guy some slack:) coz if u clamp down like this, the relationship may start to suffocate him and chip away and disintegrate. You're supposed to want your love to be happy, and not upset and anxious. He is human after all. . . Even if he's your superman.
gosh, reading this post of yours so reminds of my (old) self.
you have to stop playing games girl!!
there reaches a point when none of this is cute..and if you want to be seen as an equal in your relationship then take some control instead of waiting for him to always make the first move.
good luck hun!
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