Interesting read...

SOULFUL RELATIONSHIP



If you're not married yet, share this with a friend. If
you are married, share it with your spouse or other
married couples and reflect on it. An African proverb
states, "Before you get married, keep both eyes open,
and after you marry, close one eye."


Before you get involved and make a commitment to someone
, don't let lust, desperation, immaturity, ignorance,
pressure from others or a low self-esteem, make you
blind to warning signs. Keep your eyes open, and don't
fool yourself that you can change someone or that what
you see as faults aren't really important. Once you
decide to commit to someone, over time his or her flaws,
vulnerary-abilities, pet peeves, and differences will
become more obvious.


If you love your mate and want the relationship to grow
and evolve, you've got to learn to close one eye and not
let every little thing bother you. You and your mate
have many different expectations, emotional needs,
values, dreams, weaknesses, and strengths. You are two
unique individual children of God who have decided to
share a life together. Neither of you are perfect, but
are you perfect for each other? Do you bring out the
best in each other?


Do you compliment and compromise with each other, or do
you compete, compare, and control? What do you bring to
the relationship? Do you bring past relationships, past
hurt, past mistrust, past pain? You can't take someone
to the altar to alter him or her. You can't make someone
love you or make someone stay. If you develop
self-esteem, spiritual discernment, and "a life", you
won't find yourself making someone else responsible for
your happiness or responsible for your pain.


Manipulation, control, jealousy, neediness, and
selfishness are not the ingredients of a thriving,
healthy, loving and lasting relationship! Seeking
status, sex, wealth, and security are the wrong reasons
to be in a relationship. What keeps a relationship
strong? Communication, intimacy, trust, a sense of
humour, sharing household tasks, some getaway time
without business or children and daily exchanges (a
meal, shared activity, a hug, a call, a touch, a note).


Leave a nice message on the voicemail or send a nice
email. Sharing common goals and interests. Growth is
important. Grow together, not away from each other,
giving each other space to grow without feeling insecure
. Allow your mate to have outside interest. You can't
always be together. Give each other a sense of belonging
and assurances of commitment. Don't try to control one
another. Learn each other's family situation. Respect
his or her parents regardless.


Don't put pressure on each other for material goods.
Remember for richer or for poorer. If these qualities
are missing, the relationship will erode as resentment,
withdrawal, abuse, neglect, dishonesty, and pain replace
the passion.