another round of confusion!!
update: the whole hanging up story has been kinda sorted out, but 'Mr arrogant' told me that i should know "he will never call a person that hangs up on him back, ever" .. so, i said sorry, i didn't know you were so over-sensitive about such a trivial thing, and i will never hung up again.. but now he has another stupid issue.. i swear, its like he is digging for things to argue about, only difference is that he does argue straight out, he just goes into silent mode, and i cant do that, i have to sort any issue out straight away..
new issue:(via sms, wed. nite)
Him: tell me, am i holding you back?
Me: what do u mean?
Him: we don't really discuss our 'friendship" and i know us being set-up like we were means there is only one intention and i haven't committed to anything, so, is there any other guy? other proposals?
Me: (WTF) there will always be other ppl trying to intro. me to someone, but i don't think it would be fair to me, you or the third person, to consider, i don't do the "line the guys up thing"
Him: what do u mean you, me and them?
Me: i wont just meet anyone right now, be cos i don't want to meet anyone else..
Him: ok, i just don't want to think that i am holding you back, leading you on or preventing you from moving onto greener pastures.. so to speak.
Me: i think we need to talk about this
Him: (avoiding nicely) its late, we will chat tom.. on msn
yesterday, on msn during the day.. he is acting like nothing was wrong, so i asked "are you goinh to explain the smses? and he said" it was straightforward, no hidden meanings?.. i asked if we could discuss it over the phone rather and he said okay, later or tonight,, but its now Fri. morn. and he hasn't called! so now.. I'm done, cant take being ignored , I didn't do anything wrong, so if he has an issue, or all these thoughts floating in head, and he doesnt want to dicuss it, he can deal with it, and call me when he has sorted his screwed up head out!!!
btw, My neighbour wants to "set-up' a meeting for me for some guy that is "very nice, and a really good guy" so, maybe i should agree!!
21 comments:
oi
hey ruBes!
i was smiling for you wen u wrote last year that u met a gUy, and u were so so so bowled over by him etc... *Sigh*
and now back to reality :(
*hugs*
hope it all works out for the best and for whatevas good for u, sweetie!
*mwah*
aw man:(
well, what kimya said, the best for the best (which is you:) ).
i think you should just ask him flat out - do we have a future - see how it goes from there. in the meanwhile, if you are comfortable with seeing other guys, then hey - you owe him no accountability if he's not willing to commit
then again - if you really like him, then you would hold out. thats what i did with the girl i really liked ( i didnt get her in the end, and i did lose some lovely ones who were interested in me - i'm talkin priyanka chopra look alikes with sweet personalities) but you know what - i have no regrets for letting all those other girls go - i only regret that my girl let me go so easily.
You really seem in a jam. From what ive read about the guy i agree with junaid just ask him flat out. No pretences just the honest brutal truth. I wish you all the best and hope this situation resolves it self.
Mjunaid PRITANKA CHOPRA LOOKALIKES! Dude i got to come visit you man. hehe
Oi yoi yoi.y does it all hav2 b so complicatd *sigh* a small part of me tinks he's silly to get upset ova the hangin up thing,but iv realisd we girls really do xpect,demand too much.guys hav feelins too. We wudnt allow a guy to do that to us.ruby,im with junaid n kman.just ask. N as trite as it sounds,dua is the best solution. May all thats good 4u come ur way.
ugh! he makes me MAD!
move on***move on***
he is practically spelling thins out for you :)
ps; yo uknow why i sound harsh...........becos i have been thee and done that!!!!!!!!!! and realised too late........and then felt stoooopid.......so take it from experience...........its the best medicine!!
mwuah**
will make dua for you
fida
puresoul786@yahoo.com
honestly ask him... sit him down and talk to him and come to a decision if he wants u or not....
then see what he sys and if not move on...
sorry about the guy... they are just way too complicated..
stuff like this puts me off the whole idea of 'relationships'...at least, relationships where both people aren't clear - from the start - about what they're in it for.
i hate that people can play games with you, and act different and not just say what they mean. true, sometimes its to protect your feelings from getting hurt - but in general, i'm just very reluctant of getting into relationships.
we're not supposed to in the first place - and sagas like this may be the very reason why.
i reckon the direct approach is the way to go. (for me, at least). it cuts through the possibility of all these games and miscommunications and anxieties.
before you get involved with anyone else, think about what it is u really want, and make sure you're up front about it. if he's scared off, then he's scared off.
i think its better to be straightforward right from the beginning, than risk weeks and months of getting attached to someone only to find that you're not on the same page when it comes to what you want.
hope it all works out not just for the immediate future, but for your long-term future. and that - whatever happens with this guy - you'll learn valuable lessons that will help in your future, whether its with him or someone else.
Oh noo Ruby ... that sms conversation makes me wanna swear ... Geez its amazing how guys can be so damn stupid!!
He's blatantly telling you hes not in it for the long run ... U know how we girls are, we never wanna see the truth in our own situations but looking in from the outside, and with retrospect of my own life, its quite obvious ...
i think, set a time limit for yourself (say 1 week) ... decide what exactly you want out of your relationship with him and then discuss it with him and if his plans dont match with yours call it a day before it carries on for 2 years and then ends on a really horrid note ...
And maybe just take your neighbour up on the "setup" offer ...something great might come of it and anyway, he said he doesnt want to hold you back, so dont hold yourself back ...
Good Luck Gal :) Insha Allah it all works out
oh gosh, u both seem to be pretty hi strung. YOu want answers and u need everything to be coherent... its perfectly normal. He seems to be doing introspection with regards to you and the seriousness of your association. Maybe u should take a 2 week breather to clear your head?
General female reaction process is:
1st week anger, anxiety, questions,
2nd week it settles down, u start thinking clearly about things.
Rem though, it takes 21 days to break or create a habit.
Rushing off and meeting someone right now, may not be a good idea for you. Its impulsive. Your upset. You will not be wholeheartedly wanting summing to come of it. So think carefully. Letting someone else into your life when you're still attached to another guy may result in a big mess.
o yeah the sms thing...hmmm...baaaarstid.
I agree with MJ, if he doesn't want to commit and you've got no fixed formal arrangement with him.Then you're TECHNICALLY "just friends", which means you've got no strings attached to him,which in turn means that you're not accountable to him, which in turn means that you can see whoever the hell you want to in the mean time and test the waters elsewhere. Sheeeeew that's a long sentence, easier said than done, but leave him there's someone better out there for you.
Now smiiiiiile for qL :)
Yes, like MJ and QL said - If he didn't make it clear and it hurts not to know where you stand - then move on. I think he did say that though - that you should move on to green pastures.
Goodluck with the grass. *Moo* :)
omw.. n i thought us girls were complicated! seems like he's giving u seriously mixed signals.. u need to be the straight up mature one and ask him whether he sees a future or if ur both wasting your time.
hmmm.. that sounds harsh im sorry. but talking from experience, some guys walk all over girls when they kno they'v got us mixed up.
stand up for urself! (i feel a rendition of pcd's I Dont need a Man comin up)
Bottom line: u dont need this in your life. imagine what he'l be like if u do get married. trying to talk to him abt grocery shopping will take full scale interpretors and a polygraph test..
ps: i say it cant hurt to meet the other dude.. choices are always yours =)
"greener pastures.. so to speak" seriously? he used that phrase?
that's one funny dude :-D
but seriously...maybe he's just a little insecure - maybe he's like one of those dudes who doesn't like taking chances in such matters. although...that is kinda wussy, huh?
ps. i'm a leo too - i don't like being ignored either :-)
Hi Ruby
My God! This guy sounds like a mighty schmuck! And they say us women are hard to figure out! The way I see it, the guy's not man enough,he's a coward who hides behind his phone. I read that he's 8 years older thn you are,so you'd think he'd have sense,hey? And I dont think you being a Leo should matter at all.. Im Gemini and I love my space and dont like too much attention, but being ignored would piss the crap out of me, so your anger is completely, absolutely, one hundred percent justified! I think the two of you do need a breather,but dont ever allow him to ignore you again... We girls deserve better,much better! I agree with the guy who writes this crap.. This guy probbly does have major insecurity issues and he's trying to walk over you to make himself feel better. If you think this was or could have been love, its probably worth another try,but dont ever allow him to disrespect u that way again. And if it wasn't there yet, you should move on to 'greener pastures'...
Men! Real bastards they are! no other way to say it... Btw, i love your blog,its brilliantly interesting!
Hi zee! thanx for popping by, and for the comments. I agree that men can be so dense sometimes, just makes you wanna scream hey...
The guy who writes this crap: welcome back, how was your holiday? hope the fiancee is well.. and that you had a blast!
Hmmm puzzling hey ruby i suggest u be straight up and ask the dude what he sees and what exactly he wants call me course but im pretty direct and i think thata how all guys should be they should know what they want etc etc. and shouldn be afraid to set out and get it but anyways hold your horses on further options for now jut ask him straight out and if he avoids make it very clear to him that by avoiding the question and not setting things out his digging his own grave that shud shock him into evaluating things f it doesn't sorry girl its not for you but thats his loss lol so dont sweat it youll be fine and some other guy will relise how great you are ! :-)
i cant believe reading ur blog, it is as if i am reading my story. From my experience,, please read the signs. He is just a coward that doesnt want to take responsiblity. He is telling u "i just don't want to think that i am holding you back, leading you on" so he doesnt wanna feel guilty if u are waiting for him , cos he knows dame well,, there is no future for both of you, or he is not sure of his feeling so if later on u blame him for wasting ur time,, he will be like "i already told u before and i didnt lead u on"
Believe me,, just ignore him and cut it without even telling him. The more u care for him, the more he will run away and ignore u more. Contacting him will only hurt you more, cos he will not give u the attention u deserve.and dont open the subject with him directly, Unless he opens it. I did, and he kept going around in circules, soo hesitant. he will not be brave enough to tell u the truth no matter what it is, especially in long distance. It sucks and kills any emotions.
Hope you save urself alot of hurt.
Well, Ruby to give the guy some credit - he didn't just lead you on - he has told you not to hold back:) So go be happy and don't hold back.
He's probably confused - best not to get involved in that,
or you and him will be in a serious heartache situation.
Hi Ruby...
My comments got no advice...
However I am quite amused as to what it has brought out, sure you didn’t do it for that reason but, its amazing what you can learn from your readers just by the comments they leave neh. The way peeps deal so differently with lifes clockwork, peoples insecurities, the little cookie crumbles that make us who we are. Well, I just found it interesting, got no advice, I left my 2cents worth before and 2cents is all I can afford... bleh! I think you’l figure out wots best for ya’
Don’t we all at the end of the day :)
Goodlucks!
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