Here we go again!!!

Approx reading time: 4 minutes

Im sure everyone has heard of 94.7 Highveld , the coolest radio station in SA... (those ppl that don't live in jhb, will disagree i know!) well, every morning on the Rude Awakening, they have the homework hotline, and on monday a 8 yr old kid wanted to know : How come tears come out of our eyes when we cry?

This was the reply:
Tears flow from our eyes when we cry because they contain chemicals and hormones produced by our bodies.
When we become upset, our brains and bodies overreact and work overtime by producing chemicals and hormones.
Crying helps eliminate these extra chemicals that we don't need.
The chemicals and hormones disappear from our body through the form of tears. As our tears flow, they sooth our sadness or distress by withdrawing these chemical agents.
That is why many people feel calmer or more refreshed after crying--because the tears get rid of these hormones that are produced when we are sad, happy, or distressed.

I however, am going to have to disagree this the last statement, about feeling better and refreshed after a cry... Cos once i start crying, i cant seem to stop, and when i do eventually stop crying, i feel even more miserable than before... does anyone else feel the same way?

im sure you guys are wondering what the hell im going on about... and im getting to a point i promise... see, on friday, it was six months since 'The Guy ' and i met, and i had promised myself, that i would ask him what his thought on our relationship were, are this milestone... so, i built up my courage, and since i didnt speak to him on sat, i asked him on sunday .....and lets jussay.. i didnt get the response that i was looking for...

To summarize briefly, he doesnt feel as though he is in a relationship, and as though im his girlfriend etc, since we so far away, and he doesnt get to see me often (is that my fault) and he doesnt think that a relationship can work in this way... (i am of the thought, that you can make it work if u want it to) and also, since we dont spend much time together, he feels as though he is alone anyway, and y couldnt we have just met when he was still in jhb? to which i replied that we didnt, we met knowong that there was this distance between us, and it wasnt an issue before, so y make it one now?... so, i told him, if he is trying to break-up with me in a subtle way, he must just say so, and not come up with such sad excuses, so, he then said that he doesnt really know waht to do, but he doenst think we know each other well enough to commit (hello.... we have been chatting to each other everyday for 6 freaking months) and he doesnt expect me to wait till he figures his screwed up mind out, so if i do get a better option, or meet someone else, i should keep my options open (BS i tell u) but, in the same breath he says that he doesnt think we can be just freinds, but we shouldnt say we in a relationship... so, i told him that it seems as though he is afraid of commitment, since everything is hunky-dory but the minute i ask about the future, he gets all psycho, (" u in my space " crazy) and i have enough friends and i dont need anymore, thank u very much!!!!
so, for two nights we had the same conversations, where he feels taht if you have to make an effort to even see the person, then its not right, because he feels that things are jsut supposed to fall into place, which i dont agree with, cos i think if u sit on your ass and wiat for things to fall out from the sky, you gonna be waiting a really long time.....

Then the confused soul says, that he is happy with me since we met, becuase he feels as though im the female version of him, we talk and think and even do the same things, and we just fit so well together, but 'i dont know" !!!! I was so frustrated i tell u , cos every two minuts, he said "i dont know" ..... so, eventually, i got a headache from thinking about this whole thing and ended the conv, but he said 'spk to u tom" to which i replied, no, i dont have the time/ebergy to spk to my friends everyday, so i wont spk to u tom.... and he just sighed.... and i havent heard from him since !!!!

so now, im all upset, and dont know what to think or do anymore... my one best friend thinks he is the biggest loser under the sun and i should just leave it, and other friend thinks maybe he just needs to miss me , and then he will realise what he is losing out on... but i donty have the energy to even think anymore... this whole relationship thing sucks... big time, and i think as we get older, we just looks for things to complicate, as though life isnt tough enough already.. but what im dreading the most form all this, is finding myself single aagin, and being set-up on tsunami-style disaster dates once again, in the near future!!!!

if anyone is gonna comment, please i dont need to feel any crappier, so, please refrain from any "i told u so" and other negative comments directed towards me in this whole situation is ... cos i am not at fault, and i did not ask to be hurt once again!!!