Take Care now!!!
I have a confession to make; I have a monthly subscription to Cosmo mag. and Glamour mag... And this is an article from the May 2007 issue of cosmo... let me know what you guys think...
i dated this guy once. We fell in lust, played sleepovers, introduced our friends, SMSed each other incessantly and proposed things we knew we'd never follow through. it was glorious. Then he went overseas for two months. At first, we smsed daily, and used MSN Messenger enthusiastically. then it trickled down to the odd email. Finally, it waned to sporadic SMSs when we were drunk or lonely. And then one day I smsed him and got this reply: 'Hey babe. I'm buying fresh lobster at the market. Hope every thing's good in your world. take Care X '
I knew it was over...
I had been "take cared" , and when you've been take cared, you simply get your coat and leave quietly. Otherwise you risk being a 'Person who just doesn't get it ' and these are the ppl who earn the unfortunate name of 'the psycho' in dating folklore.
When the guy you're seeing finishes an sms, e-mail or conversation with Take Care, he's saying: Hey' we've had fun, but Ive moved on, so look after yourself, and, well, don't contact me anymore.
But, But, 'says your heart', it can it not just be him genuinely wishing me health and happiness? sure, it can. For good. because what can you write back to take care? (other than You too?) You can't write squat. It's designed to come across as final,, because it is Final. The genius of the Take Care lies in its subtlety-its at once pleasant and brutal.
When i told my friends I'd been Take cared, no explanation was required. "ouch' said one.'what a coward' said another. was he a coward? well, yes and no. he at least had the decency to use the new universal jargon for 'it's over' . But he also took the liberty of playing Relationship Executioner without asking me whether i also thought our expiry date had been reached. we decide he was an a**-hole. Beneath my tough-girl exterior, i was hurt. But on some level, i knew i deserved my take Care. after all, How many times had i Take cared guys?
Woman take care guys a lot. We're too emotionally aware never to call again(like guys do) so we say something 'nice' instead.(then we never call again) For us, the Take Care is like a 'drive safely' or the 'look after yourself'. Its that motherly thing-its innate.
Know this one? A new guy you 'not really feeling' shows some interest. you say' thanks so much, blah blah, soo busy. Take Care. the words may vary slightly but the formula is the same: we issue the Take care and get on with things, happy it ended sans bad blood. And therein lies the reason we hate getting Take Cared- it has always been our relationship-severing device.
The Take Care isn't a nice thing to experience- but it's a lot better than a deafening silence. so the next time you see or hear those two little words, remember what you said to the last guy you 'weren't into' Because if what you said to him wasn't 'I'm gay', chances are you gave him the Take Care. Seems all really IS fair in love and dating... You Take Care now!!!
p.s. what do u guys think? i have been trying to think of how many Take care's I have sent/received... without even knowing that this is what it meant really!!
8 comments:
well, for me, "take care" and "keep well" are those standard closings, when you don't know how else to end a communication.
kind of like, "Regards" - which i try not to use because its sooo common.
thinking about it, i'd say "keep well" is the one i use as a most distant closing, while "take care" is similar, but a little more...um...affectionate.
either way, i don't think this article universally defines the "Take care" closing - because different people can use it for different reasons.
Some may even genuinely mean it, and are not just using it as a standard closing.
I prefer to try n be creative with my closings, though.
To end this ramble, the article is right - "Take care" is one of the phrases we use to imply finality.
Either we're too polite to say "this is the end, i don't want to communicate with you anymore" - or we just are not brave enough to say that.
So, using one of these closings is a shortcut.
(Till next time...) Take Care
me :)
I use Take care all the time with no thought of any implications. But this post made me realise the finality of the phrase. I'll be sure to 'take care' before using it again :D
I've been trying to "take care" my psycho-chick for 5 years now....but last night she sms-ed she wants to see me...
for some chicks "take care" just don't work..
Take care never works with me until I get a pseudo-bf to give a "take care" call :)
dreamlife: i hope your 'take care ' at the end of your intereting comment (btw, i agree with you on your thoughts) were meant that you really Are wishing me well, and happiness over the long-wknd and not a final goodbye * sniff-sniff8 cos then i will be sad :( :(
Waseem:yeah, makes u wonder hey, about how ppl think...
Single-Guy- ok, this chic is starting to really annoy me.. give me her no. and lets mess with her brains... on the other hand, maybe we should email her this post (deleting all url's so she cant track it down, and hence will not find ur blog, if she hasnt found it already) cos, maybe she is dense as well as psychoi and doesnt GET that u dont want to meet her (even after 5 yrs.. ) gee-whizz.. she is one adamant chic hey...
Fatima: pseudo-bf to give a 'take-care' call- seems we think alike!!!
this is balls and does not apply to MJ . I say take care all the time and for me it just means 'dont walk into traffic or something because i dont want to waste a hundred rands buying you flowers when you are lying in a hospital bed)
nothing to do with 'thanks for the fish - goodbye'
Haha thanks for the fish.
Ok to me the take care thing is just a finishing off politely gesture,it doesnt mean ,dont wana see u again.But i can use that next time for get lost.
I have never used "take care" to mean that, though i've used it in those scenarios, i almost use it as a standard closing to all my emails... oh my god.. have i been giving people the boot without realizing it all this time? Maybe thats why i'm still single.. gosh darn it. I'm never using take care again unless I really mean it!! thanks for the insite
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