current mood: sad

I am having a sad day.. despite the fact that my presentation went well, the sales reps. from the two companies that were present were impressed that i have thus far, managed to get this technique called SSH to work, the one said that she has only met three people that have got it to work.. so i was quite chuffed with myself... and if I get enough mRNA , i wont even need the R75 000 , all my sequencing can be done at R20000 max... yay, there is a faint glow of light at the end of the tunnel... but still.. i am in a really crappy modd, feeling as though i am all alone... and i just want to cry!!! I hate feeling like this... and chocolate is not working? so now im clueless as to what to do.. maybe i should go shopping? that's an idea!!!

your true worth... according to indians

why is it that no matter what you do, as an Indian, your worth is always measured by whether you are married and have a husband in tow? it doesn't matter that you are independent(or as independent as an Indian girl is allowed to be), educated, happy, not on the verge of committing suicide, the fact that you are 'alone', 'single' and thus, not able to do anything (like make babies, and run a household) you are just incompetent in the eyes of 'the older generation' and also the younger ppl that ARE married...

here's the story:
i was invited to a braai yesterday. The lady that arranged the braai, was a really good friend of mine, and all our friends that used to hang out together at campus (when we were all in undergrad) were invited. We were about 15 of us, and now, there are three girls, and 4 guys left i.e. not hitched yet... so, i made a dessert and went to this braai... not having seen most of them for the last three n half yrs or so.. and i was bored out of my mind... The girls from the group that got married, didn't have much else besides housework to talk about, the wives of guys from the group, didn't say much, except for one ... that was so cute and bubbly, she actually kept everyone going, and the rest of them just sat there... which made me wonder... do people change so much, that people that were once with me for days on end, people that i spent my entire uni. era with, change so much, that we no longer have anything in common.. The sad thing is, that those that have gotten married, haven't seemed to change much (person-wise) whereas us.. the single guys and gals, rocked... we happy and content with ourselves, but.. that's not how we are seen!! it just made me wonder...

then i left the very exciting braai (while everyone was playing soccer.. i don't play soccer anymore) and went to my uncle's house since we have some family over from the U.K.... and here, i met the older people, that literally, tried marrying me off in front of my eyes, to this guy that was there from London... His mother acted as though i wasn't sitting in front of her face, asking about me.And naturally, the big question was posed" so, what are you going to do next year? are you for a job? " to which , i gave my standard reply... "I'm not really sure yet, but I'm keen on continuing my research, and I went to do my PhD, and that's when my mum, shooting daggers at me... says" i don't know why she wants to study, she has been at it for so many years, its time she settles down!!!! Settles down, as if I'm running around, doing all kinds of wrong things or something, and now i need settling down... Never mind, that i have an aim, an ambition in life, to be something, other than an extension of some prick or a**hole, I must just get married, for the sake of getting married, to any piece of crap that comes to my door because no Indian girl is worth anything if she is not married... oh yeah, and the reason that I'm not married, and will "be left behind" is because I'm too fussy, and too picky and keep saying no.. So, regardless of whoever people set me up with, be it a complete jerk, and idiot, a geek, a freak of nature, regardless of whether he even knows how to spell 'biochemistry' (there was one that couldn't) i must stop being choosy... and just get married, cos its the Indian thing to do!!!

BTW, if I'm still single when I turn 26.. (which is in exactly two months time) there will be an ad. in the classifieds, stating that THIS Indian girl is hopeless in finding a life partner...

*disclaimer* I'm sorry, just had to let off some steam..!!!

Im so stressed out...

had a meetin gwith my supervsior on tuesday. turns out, that to complete my project i.e. my masters, I need an excess of R75 000 so that the company can be paid to do my sequences.. I was initially doing all the sequence crap on campus, but the dept. housing the machine, has some problem... if the dean doesnt agree to the additional funding, I need to get another plan... but, there is this new technology out, that i could probably use, and get everyhting done for half the amount of cash... but, that would mean starting my project from scrath.. all the work that i have done over the last 2 yrs, will no longer be relevant, sincve those methods are now antiquated...

for now though, i have to prepare a presentation to the conmpany interested in helping me with the new tech,. stuff for monday, and after monday, i will know the satus of the life!!! till then... request for duas please...

My nephew and I

My nephew is in nursery school, but the amount of stuff that they have to do is ridiculous, and naturally, as his aunt, i end up doing the stuff him. The project for this week was to build a model of a house, so, i spent my sunday making a house, painting it and got it ready for him to take to school yesterday... only to find out that his house was too plain (words of my sister.. his mother) and the other kids in the class all had 'cooler looking' houses (his words) ... so, the next time he has a project, i will not do it for him, no matter how many hugs and kisses i get as bribery for the work to be done...

For next week, he has to learn a nursery rhyme since they going to have a nursery rhyme competition.. try getting a four year old to repeat after you.. nursery rhymes which I haven't heard of.. ever!!! I really dont recall doing any these things when i was at pre-school..

My holiday- detailed!

So, MJ has been complaining, since the last few posts on my blog have only been videos... but since getting back form my trip, i have been so busy at work, that i didnt even get a chance to sit down an reply to all the mail that piled up while i was away..

as promised, here is the details of my holiday:
it was absolutely what I needed.. I got to spend time with my friend (whom i miss terribly since she got married and moved to CT) , i got to spend time with my best friend and her family (she came with me but stayed at her sister's house) but most immportantly, i got to spend time with myself.. yep, im not being conceited or anything, but after all the drama regarding the loser, i just needed atime out, away from everyone and everything, to get things back into perspective, and this short holiday was just what i needed. I was staying at century city, so i could pop inot Canal Walk anytime i wanted , watched movies, did some shopping and when my friend was free, we did stuff together... I didnt do much tourist-y things, but i have seen all the major spots of Cape Town, so it was fine by me, besides, when u go sight-seeing etc. you get tired and i wasnt up for that...

Also, a highlight of my trip was taht i got to meet three fellow bloggers. I regrettably, wasnt as organised as most of you , so, i ended up meeting each of them seperately (all at Canal Walk) but, singleguy and I managed to meet up at Limnos for chocolate eclairs and chocolate cake (yummy), Dreamlife and I met up for coffee, and Lady and I managed to spend sunday afternoon, having a girly-girl chat over Divine Marcel Apple baklava ice-cream..

But the climax to my trip,was as i landed at OR Tambo tuesday evening and switched on my cell, I got a message from none other than Loser Guy... after two freaking months... the sms went like this : slmz, hope you're ok. just wanted to say hi. take Care... well, screw you Loser, I didnt reply.. cos, im no dummy.. there is no such thing as coincidence esp. for him to contact me after two and a half months.. so i figured, that he was in CT (since his old/new/current/always) girlfriend lets call her Mini-Mouse (now now, im not being mean, she drives amini cooper) lives there, and since she waorks really close to Canal Walk, at the same company as my friend and He does, the a**hole, must have seen me at their building or CW, and he was trying to see if i would tell him that i was around.. well, HA to you...
then, on wed. evening, i went to visit a friend of mine, who also happens to know the whole crew of this drama, and i found out that this girl Minnie Mouse, went out/was going out with Loser guy from 2004. now, i knew that he went out with her before he met me, but he told me a completely different story, and these sources have the first-hand truth... so, i am so grateful, that i did not reply to his sms, (thanks MJ for the advice) , and also that i longer have any contact with this liar loser of note... and since i found this out, i have been so happy, its unbelievable... I actually feel sorry for him, since he is 33 yrs old, but he is as confused as an 18 yr old (no, even an 18 yr old knows where they headed) cos if he is going out with her for 3-odd yrs,on/off, and still doesnt know if he wants to marry her,or doesnt have the guts (read balls) to stand up to his parents whom i suspect don't approve of Minnie Mouse, then he is befitting of the name Loser Guy, and I feel sorry for her as well, cos regardless of whta type of person she is , no-one deserves to be used in this way, and to be stringed (is this a word?) along for so many years thinking that all is hunky-dory in your little world, without having any idea of what your 'boyfriend's intentions are... onlt thing i can say i s Shmae , for both of them, and I am Thankful to Allah, for having saved me from something evil.. and I promise that this is the last time that i mention Loser Guy on my blog... This is valuable space not worthy of crap!! lol...

so, i am once again, my happy content self, just freezing in the cold today!!!

Shah Rukh Khan et Kajol Forever Indian movie song bollywood

the best scenes from bollywood?

Im Back !!

Had a really wonderful time in Cape Town, but true jo-burg girl that i am, I'm thrilled to be back(CT is nice for a hoilday, but wont think of living there permanently) ... will tell all about my very relaxing, de-stressing holiday soon...

Hope u guys are all well..

[ Shah Rukh Khan ] - Kar Le Kar Le Video Music

Check out SRK's new video.. The man is looking HOT !!!

Citizens for a Better America -

I heard this song on Highveld stereo this morning... Paris Hilton, hope u dont take this song as a tribute to u , but as what its meant to be!!

Ruby's Bags are packed...

My bags are packed, my leave has been approved, and my plane is hopefully all fuelled and ready to go, just wish i had taken a longer holiday.. five days may be too short, but nevertheless.. as long as i get to eat "sinful" ice-cream i will be happy... (haagen Dazs falls short in comparison)
Other than that, im just gonna relax, this holiday is for me and me alone, away from everythinh, and everyone that stresses me out, from the roads in JHb, to fetching people, running errands, and worrying about family and friends.. These five days are my 'ME" time... and i intend taking full advantage!!!

so for now, Ciao...

Response to HHP's Q's (Moral dilemma)

Hamish had these questions posted on his blog, and he wanted to know how people would handle these situations, so, i decided to answer them as a post...

1. Your boss gives you a sum of money. He tells you that the amount is R10000. You take the money and in your office you count it. You find out it is in fact R15000. What do you do? Go to your boss and tell him that there is extra cash...

2.You find out something about someone that could cost them their job. This someone is a dirty low down scoundrel that would use the information if the roles were reversed. What do you do? Send an anon. note to the scoundrel’s boss

3.A loved one is terminally ill. They are in pain every minutes of every day. The medication is not working. They beg you to end their suffering. What do you do? NOT end their suffering, but be there every painful step of the way..

4.You SO (significant other) is out of town, you’re with your mates and Hotty Machotness and you strike up a conversation. Later in the evening Machotness confesses that she is attracted to you and invites you back to his/her place. What do you do? Decline , tell her that u in love with your SO and do the betrayal game, and go to your Home!

5.Your relationship is headed towards the rocks. Someone else is showing interest in you. The problem is, technically you still have a SO. What do you do? End it with SO before you start something up with the new person.

6.classic movie scenario Your SO is threatened, We’ll make life difficult for her if you don’t break up. What do you do? Break-up to save her life, and when the danger is gotten rid of, explain all to her.

7.It’s the night before exams, your studying is going sideways. A friend tells you he has the exam paper. No charge, he’ll give it to you. What do you do? Yes no thanks. and Study harder

8.You have the chance to kill someone. No witnesses, and no way of tracing it back to you. What do you do? Nope, wont kill the person.. CSI may just figure out that it was you

9.You find out your best friend in the whole world is a thief. What do you do? Ask her why she/he steals? Maybe its a need and not a want.

10.Someone close to you is killed by a drunk driver. He is acquitted in court and comes to you for forgiveness. What do you do? Tricky, ideally, is God can forgive why can’t we right? But im not THAT big a person!

11.A person who has gone out of their way to make life hell for you comes to you and says I have cancer, I am looking for forgiveness. What do you do? It depends how hellish they made your life.. if you are over the stuff that they did to you, then forgive!

12.A city is in chaos, people are looting and stealing. The electronics shop has that item you’ve always wanted. What do you do? Walk pass the store, tempting but not worth it!

13.Your SO admits that he/she once cheated on you. What do you do? Break up with SO, if So did it once, SO can do it again, once the trust is broken, there is no going back

14.Someone offers you a large sum of money if you can facilitate a deal between him and known criminals. You suspect the deal is illegal. What do you do? Pimp him to the cops.

15.Your best friend’s SO makes a pass at you. What do you do? Tell your best friend.. their SO is a jerk/jerkette and they deserve to know

16.You lost count reading namaaz. Was it 2 or 3 rakaats? What do you do? Break your namaaz and start again.

17.You’re a lawyer, bound by an ethical code, you know your client abused a child. What do you do? Refuse to represent him
You find out one of your parents is having an affair. What do you do? Confront that parent, and say that if it doesnt end, you will tell the other parent. but all respect for said parent will be lost

18.You’re in a relationship. It blows. But the sex is awesome. What do you do? Have a last night together, save the memory of the good sex, and walk away. If its bad, i dont think good sex can make a relationship work.

19.Your friend breaks up with their significant other. You have always gotten along well with said SO. SO says that he/she has started developing feelings for you. What do you do? Depends on how good a friend it is.. if its best friend.. friendship is more imp. If not so close, maybe meet the ex-SO for coffee and see if there is an attraction.

20.You have rules. Once you say it’s over, it’s over. No appeals process. You find out though that you were a bit hasty in your decision. What do you do? Call the person and apoloigise for the hasty decision, and hopefullt the situation can be saved.

21.You borrow money from a wealthy friend. You promise to pay him back. He never asks and you conveniently forget. Comment If and when you do have the money, pay him back..

22.You walk out a store and when you get to the car you realize that a tube of lip balm was not paid for. What do you do? Go back into the store and pay for it

23.A girl comes up and says she is pregnant and that you are the father, what do you do? N/A

24.Your boyfriend mistakenly mentions another girls name when talking to you. What do you do? Ask him who the person is, then verify his answers via your own sources... )if he is not trustworthy)

25.You SO asks you how many people you’ve dated. Do you tell them how many you’ve dated and leave out the people you’ve been intimate with? What do you do? Tell the whole truth.. all the people, and all that you’ve done.

26.In the South African Law of Delict, an omission is an act where there is a duty on you to speak. You have information that might devastate your friend/SO/ Family member but in the long run it will be better for them to know. What do you do? Tell them.

27.The Moulana says that you cant be friends with anyone other than other Muslims. Your best friend is not Muslim. What do you do? If the friend is a good person, stay friends with them

28.A women shoots her drunk husband. For years he has abused her. Is she guilty of murder? Maybe it was self-defense

29.A gay person makes a pass at you. What do you do? Politely tell them that you are not gay!

Maybe

Maybe . . we were supposed to meet the wrong people before meeting the right one so that, when we finally meet the right person, we will know how to be grateful for that gift.

Maybe . . . when the door of happiness closes, another opens; but, often times, we look so long at the closed door that we don't even see the new one which has been opened for us.

Maybe . . . it is true that we don't know what we have until we lose it, but it is also true that we don't know what we have been missing until it arrives.

Maybe . . . the happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the most of everything that comes along their way.

Maybe . . . the brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past; after all, you can't go on successfully in life until you let go of your past mistakes, failures and heartaches.

Maybe . . . you should dream what you want to dream; go where you want to go, be what you want to be, because you have only one life and one chance to do all the things you dream of, and want to do.

Maybe . . . there are moments in life when you miss someone -- a parent, a spouse, a friend, a child -- so much that you just want to pick them from your dreams and hug them for real, so that once they are around you appreciate them more.

Maybe . . . the best kind of friend is the kind you can sit on a porch and swing with, never say a word, and then walk away feeling like it was the best conversation you've ever had.

Maybe . . you should always try to put yourself in others' shoes. If you feel that something could hurt you, it probably will hurt the other person, too.

Maybe . . you should do something nice for someone every single day, even if it is simply to leave them alone.

Maybe . . giving someone all your love is never an assurance that they will love you back. Don't expect love in return; just wait for it to grow in their heart; but, if it doesn't, be content that it grew in yours.

Maybe . . . happiness waits for all those who cry, all those who hurt, all those who have searched, and all those who have tried, for only they can appreciate the importance of all the people who have touched their lives.

Maybe . . . you shouldn't go for looks; they can deceive; don't go for wealth; even that fades away. Go for someone who makes you smile, because it takes only a smile to make a dark day seem bright. Find the one that makes your heart smile.

Maybe . . you should hope for enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trials to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human, and enough hope to make you happy

Maybe . . . you should try to live your life to the fullest because when you were born, you were crying and everyone around you was smiling but when you die, you can be the one who is smiling and everyone around you crying.

Maybe. . . you could send this message to those people who mean something to you, to those who have touched your life, to those who can and do make you smile when you really need it, to those who make you see the brighter side of things when you are really down, and to all those whom you want to know that you appreciate them and their friendship. ( that’s all of you fellow bloggers !!!)

Celebrity look-alikes

Since MJ introduced me to myheritage.com, it has become my latest hobby of note.. I have been uploading everyone's photos and I have also got all my friends in the lab checking the website out.

So, i decided to try and do the face recognition with a pic of 'the loser' ...
heres the result... Hope u guys have a good laugh, i did, and im feeling so much better... (so much for him thinking that he was the coolest thing since toilet paper) .. Now, right now, i wish i hadn't cut all ties with him, so that i could e-mail him this post and show him the results... okay, im being mean , i know, but he desrves it... the cheating Bastido!!! (another story on its own)hehehe, not one hot guy in sight!!!



And since i didnt really like the results of mine (it missed the sushmita sen hit :( :( i tried it with another pic, and this one was a little better...

http://www.myheritage.com